Blessings

I am often reminded to remember the things that I have been blessed with it is easy to lose sight of God's gifts, and His blessings in my life. When I focus on the things that are not going the way I think that they should, life looks sad and depressing. Every moment in my life comes with its own trial or heart ache, many times I feel that God is not around and does not care. When He really is here, and He really does care about every little detail of my life. In fact He cares so much that He gives us not just what we want but more then we could ever dream. But there are times when the best hurts, and when the"more then we could dream of" comes only through pain, and heartache.
I try to remind myself that with growth there is pain, and yet I still ask God why. So many things in my life don't seem for my good. That God doesn't care at all. There is also the other possibility that my messed up life is ordered by God for my own good, and that all in all I am not able to see the beautiful master piece that God is creating of my life. Maybe my life is about to blossom in to what God wants it to be and I just can't see it
I Love the song by Laura Story called Blessings.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Giving up

Today I was thinking about the way that I am living my life, and I realized that I have not been putting God first instead I have been trying to control my life and be the captain of my soul. Yes I have added God in and tried to think that he held the rains to my life, and I did let Him run my life to a point. Yet I am trying to constantly run my own life. I am no longer living for God instead I take what God told me to do and push it and try to fit it in to my mold instead of letting him run my life. I think that God wants to run my life but yet I feel if I let him have it all, He will ruin it. The more that I try to manage my life the more I hate the way my life is turning out! God has giving me so much and yet I cannot enjoy it because I don't fully trust him with everything. I worry about this and that and even don't ask God about something's because I don't want his answer or because I don't trust that he has good in store for me. I doubt the one who gave me everything and more. Now I am realizing how foolish I have been and how far my eyes have strayed from the cross. I want to put my priorities back in order and put God first!
God I am giving up take all of me!

1 Sam 12:24
24 Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you.

Wow it has really been a long time since I last wrote! I think life is passing me by and I can get nothing done on time. So many things change so quickly. Days seem like minuets and are gone in the blink of an eye. So there are so many new things in my life. It looks like I am going Paramedic in August. I don't really know what to think about everything and many times it is hard to trust Gods will in my life. But the hardest thing to trust is his timing. His timing seems to be all mixed up and crazy but I know that it is perfect not to early and not to late but at the right time.

It has been a few days since I last wrote. It has been difficult to find the time I am so busy down here. I honestly don't know where to begin. We have been in many places out in the countryside from a blueberry farm then to a hog farm, another cheese plant, and two more dairy farms. We also got to stay one night in some cabins on the lake shore that was really nice. I got up early and ran on the beach it was vary nice. It has been a long and very good week!

May 11

Uruguay May 10

Today was another awesome and busy day. First we went and saw slaughter house that was amazing(we were not allowed to take pic's in the plant itself so the only one from there is the one of Ever in his white suit) then we went to a restaurant and ate. The food wasn't as good as some of the other food we have had, but then again we have been really spoiled. Then we went and saw this rural school with some really cute kids it was a lot of fun. After that we went and saw a dairy farm that milked 100 cows I was not impressed. the sunset was nice though.